Self-Discipline

If I have an achiles heel, it is this: Self-Discipline. I think I used to have it down when I was younger, but somewhere along the way I gave it up in favor of more "fun" things. As a rebellion to doing what others expected of me, I decided to just do what I want, which then bred laziness and fear, both of which are extremely dangerous. Wikipedia defines Self-discipline in the following way:

Self-discipline refers to the training that one gives one's self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behaviour, even though one would really rather be doing something else. For example, denying oneself of an extravagant pleasure in order to accomplish a more demanding charitable deed. Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of 'self control'. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation, when one uses reason to determine a best course of action that opposes one's desires.

The only part of that definition that I think is wrong for me is that part where it says "even though one would rather be doing smething else". The truth is that I WANT to be writing and working out. I want to be thin and confident and be able to strut around wearing a size 6. I want to write a best-selling novel and spend my days knee-deep in a fantasy world of my own creation. I guess Wikipedia assumes that if you want those things, you won't need to discipline yourself in order to do them. Maybe I am a freak when it comes to this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many people like me out there. People who want something and even know how to get it, but are being held back by some invisible force that has no name. I can't explain why I don't just work out and write all day. But I don't. And I want to.

So today I am setting out a plan for myself. I have written out a schedule for myself that details what I need to do each hour from 8:30 until 4:30 Monday through Friday. The only way I can be successful is to just kick my own ass and make myself follow it, no excuses, no exceptions. If I follow it exactly for 2 weeks and find that I am still just as lazy or just as fat with just as little actual writing product, then I will have to try something else. I have a feeling though that I will reach some goals along the way, so I am going to set some two-week success goals starting from today, the 19th until March 3rd.

Writing Goal: To have written 20,000 words minimum.
Weight loss Goal: To have lost 8 lbs. at the very least.

And what will I do to myself if I don't succeed? Well, that's just not going to be an option this time.