The Sweetie Chronicles

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

I am a Rubik's Cube

Tomorrow's the big day, my 31st birthday. I am fully aware of the fact that most people don't make a big deal of their birthdays past the age of 21 (except maybe 50, but I still have some time before I reach that benchmark). I am not sure why every day feels like a countdown to the guillotine to me. 30 fell heavy on me, but I blamed it on the fact that I had just filed for divorce and was facing major stress and drama at the time. So, what's my excuse this year?

I was thinking about it, and I decide that my problem is this: My life is like a Rubik's cube that is currently a jumbled mess of mixed color. I have tried to figure out a Rubik's cube many times, and even though I would come close sometimes, there would always be pieces out of place that I just couldn't move to the right spot. You know how you might get one side perfect, but on your quest to make the next side perfect, the first one gets messed up again? If our purpose in life is to get the different pieces of our selves organized and moving in one focused direction so that we can make an impact on the world around us, I am more of a mess right now than I should be at 31. A Rubik's cube has six sides and six colors. Compared to life, you could maybe say that the six colors represent your love life, career, education, religion, family, and hobbies. For the purposes of my comparison, getting your love life settled and finding that one person who you can love and who is perfect for you (and loves you back of course), would mean that one side of your cube is all one color. Now that I've gotten that side together, my career side is all screwed up. Will I ever be able to get them all together at the same time? And can I make an impact on the world when I feel like I'm such a mess??

If I felt like I had an eternity to work on this puzzle, I would feel more relaxed and 31 would seem like a baby. So why am I feeling like there's someone standing there with a stopwatch? The world moves so fast these days, and careers are carved out for most of us in our 20's. Is there a place in our society for people who still haven't figured out their careers by age 31? I would venture to say that a lot of people settle for whatever job they land in, and then don't dare to leave to pursue any other dreams for fear of losing their retirement and security. (That and also the fact that it takes a lot of money to even survive these days.) It's very tough to head out into a uncertain payday. But I know I'm doing the right thing and that this will pay off eventually. It's right for my soul, but unfortunately, there are no paychecks for following your own personal creative agenda. Maybe I need to seek out stories of writer or poets who didn't publish their first work until their mid-30's.

I am going to do my best to embrace 31 as beautiful and as a year of opportunity for me. The more I think about it, colors can be boring when they are organized and perfectly placed. There is beauty to be found in the mix and the chaos. Besides, I would bet anything that once you've actually finished a Rubik's cube, it isn't as much fun anymore.


Sarra Cannon

Young Adult Indie Author

I always secretly wanted to be a cheerleader. And a witch. Now, I write about both. The first five novels in my Peachville High Demons Young Adult Paranormal series are available now in ebook!

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Sarra's bookshelf: sarra-s-favorites

Beautiful DemonsThe Time Traveler's WifeLoveroot: PoemsFear of FlyingWe the LivingAnthem

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