Halfway There

Well, the first 10 finalists have been posted at http://www.bravaauthors.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=5 , which means that they are halfway through announcing, and I have half as much chance to still make it. I guess I am following the age-old adage of "Hope for the best, but expect the worst." Honestly, though, I already know the results. I entered the competition with absolutely no experience. Part of me had hoped that I just had this amazing natural ability and that I didn't need any experience to help me through. Haha! Very silly of me to think that for even a moment, really.

The finalists so far have mostly been amazing. I definitely have some favorites though. "Treasure's Pleasure" by Liz Falkner is really good, and that was the first one posted where I was thinking, wow, that was really good. "Bounty Hunter" by Michelle M. Pillow is really good too. And she is one of those that I clicked the link beneath her name in the thread and sighed. Maybe she hasn't published for Brava, but she is published many times over... and has probably been writing for years. It certainly shows. "About Last Night" by Rhonda McKey is really good. I ahve read through that one several times. It if filled with mostly dialog in her entry, but it's great dialog. My new favorite, though, is one that was just posted yesterday called "Southern Fried Seduction" by Cindy Richards. She doesn't have a link to a website beneath her name, so maybe this is her first attempt at writing. I don't know. If it is, maybe I should be worried that it isn't coming so naturally to me.

Yesterday's other finalist was Kim Knox, and although her entry wasn't my favorite, it had more to do with subject matter and personal taste than her writing, which was really polished. I went to her website to check her out,and found that she is another multi-published writer. I was looking at her blog and realized that she started her blog over 2 years ago... and even then was posting about contracts and such. I don't know how long she's been writing, but it's been longer than two or three years it seems. On one hand, I think this should be encouraging. It shows that experience does add up to better writing. It also shows that a lot of the winners of this competition are very experienced writers, and I have nothing to be upset about for not making the finals.

So why is it that I still am beating myself up about my own progress, or lack of progress? Fear, I suppose. I am afraid that since the ability to write a novel is not coming as naturally and easily as I thought it would, I will never be able to do it. I am afraid of what in the world I can do with my life if writing isn't an option. I am scared to death that it's taking me too long to figure this out. I need to calm down and put it into perspective. Okay, so I havent' accomplished what I had hoped for when I started in July. Then again, I spent most of July and August working on the house and getting things set up. I have only really been trying to write for a couple of months, and only been focused on it like I should be for a week and a half. Some people probably take years of writing to really figure out something that is publish-able. I need to stop doubting myself, find my confidence, and get to work. G is right. I need to just finish one book. Probably any writer out there has some beginning material they know is not anywhere on par with what they are currently writing. But they know that it took writing that first stuff to be able to write the way they do now. Did that make sense?

Congrats to the 10 finalists announced so far at Brava. And here's to the 10 yet to be revealed. And, most importantly, here's to learning something from them all so that I can be in their shoes a year from now.