5 Things

There are 5 essential things I need to do every single day in order to keep moving forward with my goals. Sometimes, life can seem overwhelming, so narrowing my focus down to these 5 things will (hopefully) help me seem less frazzled and make my goals seem less impossible. Earlier this week, I suffered a sort of meltdown. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and wrote in my journal until almost 4 am. What did I write about? Basically, the fact that so many of my goals feel so impossibly out of reach. I want to lose weight, but it's hard to stay consistent with good eating habits. I want a career as a writer, but it's so hard to get published or make any money. I want a nicer house with a garage so G can work on his old Hornet. And I want a baby. But when I put all those things together like that, it feels like there's all these huge, unattainable goals just out there mocking me.

So, I'm going to try just making sure to get something done from eat of these 5 things every single day. If I can stay consistent and make it happen, then I'll be moving in the direction of those goals and dreams. What are the 5 things?:

1. Eat Right - I have lost over 10 pounds, but I still need to lose 41 pounds before I hit my goal weight. Then I want to actually keep it off. This will help in my self confidence, but will also make it better for when we start trying to have a baby.
2. Write - This means either working on my novel or writing articles online for adsense revenue. Either one works for the writing, but bonus if I can get both done in one day. Right now it doesn't equal much money, but eventually I have to hope that it will produce the millions.
   
3. Exercise - In the same basic category as eating right, I want to also exercise. It will help me lose weight faster, relieve stress, and gain energy. I recently found out that I can use the gym and classes at my husband's work for free! I just have to get a health check first, so that's step one to using the gym. Other than that, I walk or use the stationary bike here in the house.
4. Read - Definitely the easiest one on the list, but no less essential. Reading is important for my career and for my peace of mind. I love to read. As a writer, it is good to stay up with the market and to see how other writers handle plot, imagery, mechanics, characterization, etc. Right now, I'm reading Stephen King's 'IT' on my Sony Reader. This is the easiest of the 5 to fulfill because I can simply read for half an hour or so before I go to sleep.
5. Clean the house - Ugh. This is one of the hardest for me. I hate cleaning, but there's always so much that has to get done. I can't imagine what this one will be like once there actually is a child living in our house. Hopefully doing all of the other things on my list will lead to making enough money someday that I can hire someone to do a lot of the cleaning for me. :) In order to keep it from getting out of hand, I need to do a load of laundry or clean the kitchen or something every day. For some people this is automatic and not worthy of going on the list, but for me, it's torture.

I am going to work to stay consistent with these 5 things. Every day. As long as I move forward with each of these, I will be moving in the direction of what I want in life. Simple as that. The more I can do, the further I go. Every single choice I make regarding these five aspects of my life makes a difference. My goals aren't nearly as unattainable as they sometimes feel, and I need to remember that some things are under my control.

Fat People in America

This weekend, G and I went to the zoo. We both had an amazing time walking around and looking at the animals, but let me tell ya, there were other things to gawk at as well. Like the people visiting the zoo. It was crowded for sure. When we got engaged at the NC Zoo almost two years ago, there were maybe half as many people there. This weekend must have just been a zoo kind of weekend, despite the 90+ degree heat. Anyway, if the random selection of people (mainly I'm talking about women here) at the zoo this weekend is any indication of the health of women in the South, I think we're in some serious trouble.

I didn't do any sort of scientific evaluation, but if I'm guessing, I would say that at least 75% of the women at the zoo were overweight. And yes, I consider myself part of that group, for now. I'm losing weight with Jenny Craig and happy that I'm changing my life, but I'm still several pounds over weight. Of the 75% who were overweight, I would say that 50% or more of those were 50 pounds or more overweight. It was unreal. I can honestly say that I was shocked at how many people were obese. I guess it's good we were all at the zoo all day walking around, but damn. It's time we made some serious changes in this country. Sure, medical science has advanced enough to keep us alive for a long time, but what kind of quality of life are we cultivating here?

If it's bad enough that most of the women were severely overweight, don't even get me started on the children. Boys and girls alike. Little kids that looked to be younger than 10 years old who weighed over 100 pounds. Some probably over 150 pounds. It's sad. It definitely made me happy about the fact that I've decided to make some changes in my life as far as my weight and health are concerned. I'm just worried about our country as a whole if this weekend was any indication of the average American out there.

Anyway, fat people aside, G and I had an amazing time. Here is a picture of us visiting the bobcat area where we got engaged July 2008. I can't imagine my life without him, and I'm so happy he is my husband. :) It was awesome to get away together, if even for just a night.

Jenny Craig Week 5 Results

Well, not as successful this past week. I didn't lose, but at least I didn't gain either. My total stays at the 11.2, which is still more than 2 pounds average a week. For some reason, I was just super hungry all week. Maybe it was partly that I was so good for a month and the "rebel" in me just wanted to eat something bad? Or maybe it was that I was being so successful in my weight loss and my writing that my inner critique said "Wait a minute! You don't deserve to be happy!" and turned my thoughts to hunger. I definitely ate more than I should have last week, but thankfully, some part of me kept it in check enough to not gain weight.

I'm back on the wagon, so to speak. My short-term goal is to lose 1 pound this week. My mid goal is to have gotten to my halfway goal by the time I go to the beach July 4th week with my family. And long term? I would love to be at my goal weight by our one year wedding anniversary in December. If I can lose an average of only 1 pound a week, all of those goals should be attainable. It feels good to be aiming towards a healthy goal. I just hope I don't screw it up.

Jenny Craig - One Month Results

As you know, I joined Jenny Craig about a month ago! The program has been surprisingly easy to stick to. Mostly, I attribute that to the food being so good - and also the fact that I can eat things like cheesecake and double chocolate cake that taste almost like regular non-diet foods. As of yesterday's weigh-in, I have officially lost 11.2 pounds! We also did some measurements around my bust, waist, abdomen, and hips when I first started. I won't tell you all those measurements :P, but I will say that every month they measure you again to see how many inches you've lost. And I have lost 3 1/2 inches from those four areas combined! Pretty impressive!

My weight this week was just barely above 180, so I know that if I try hard, by next week I can be in the 170's. It's been so so long since I got my weight down that far! And with two months still before my first official beach vacation, I know that I can get down to my halfway goal, which is 166 pounds. Since the food program is so easy to stick to, it's mainly going to be about the exercise in months to come. So far, all I've been doing is a little bit of walking here and there. Now, I need to ramp it up and start adding in the bike and maybe some of those aerobic videos I have. Joining a gym or something isn't really in the budget, so exercise needs to be something free, but I'm confident I can burn the calories I need to burn without spending any extra money.

So, 11.2 pounds in four weeks! I'm definitely finding success on this program, and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

Signed Up for Jenny Craig!

Yesterday, I made a very big decision for myself. I went down to the local Jenny Craig center and signed up for a year! In the past, I have tried Weight Watchers, and even though it seemed to work for me pretty well when I was in Indianapolis a long time ago, I haven't had any success on it since. On the other hand, I have heard such amazing things about Jenny Craig. Since you eat their food for almost every meal, your portions and calories are already counted out for you.

Is it expensive? Absolutely. If I lose the weight I want to lose, will it be worth it? Hell yes. I have been trying to lose this weight for several years now, but I haven't been able to stick to a program or find the willpower to resist eating sweets and huge portions. The cost comes from a full year of membership (which you can sign up for less, but I decided to do the premium membership and get full access and support - plus at one year, my insurance actually paid $100 of the signup fee!) plus the cost of food per week. I ended up paying, after the insurance discount, $300 for the year, then each week of food is going to be between $100 and $125. I was able to split the $300 into 3 payments, which is helpful. I know it's going to be a little more money than we're used to spending on food, because I will still have to buy food for G separately.

I'm so thankful that we're in a place right now where we can afford to do this and I can go to a therapist. I feel like after so long of just living in this downward spiral of depression and disappointment, I am finally finding ways to lift myself up. Marriage to the perfect man of my dreams helped! :P Anyway, I am excited about starting on a new journey and working hard to get healthy, both physically and mentally. The food is in the freezer and today is day 1. Total weight loss goal? 52 pounds. Considering I signed up for 52 weeks of membership, I know it's totally do-able. I just have to take it one day at a time. Here's hoping Jenny Craig is a great weight loss program that will work for me.

Weight Loss Aint Easy

Ugh! I hate dieting! All week, I've been watching what I eat and exercising, but I haven't lost a single pound! I was really hoping to shed at least 2 pounds this week, but instead, I'm going to bed hungry every night with sore muscles - for nothing! I'm not trying to starve myself by any means, and I could certainly cut out a few more calories. But without choosing the right foods, I'm going to be even more hungry than I already am - which for me doesn't spell success. I don't do hunger well.

I would step up the exercise even more, but who has the time? There is so much to get done! Ack! At least I haven't gained any weight, but I sincerely was hoping for five more pounds off before we left for Vegas. Now, I'm down to only 12 days to do it in. I'm starting to wonder if it's just not going to happen.

Crunch Time

19 More Days!!

It's so hard to believe that we're leaving for Vegas in barely more than two weeks. We've been planning this trip for so long, and it's so close now! Basically, though, I realized this weekend that it's crunch time. I am running out of time to lose weight and get my skin perfect and get rid of those terrible tan lines on my shoulders, etc. There is so much I want to do before we go, and even though the world won't stop turning just because I don't get them done, I really want to give my ALL to the next two weeks (16 days until we leave, technically) of preparation.

Last night in my journal, I wrote down a dieting plan. I have already been following one, and although I have lost several pounds, I want to see if I can lose another 8 pounds before we leave. Right now, I'm only 3 pounds away from being the lowest weight I've been in almost 5 years, and I know that I can do it. I have an exercise plan to work out three times a day (Jazzercise in the morning, walk in the afternoon, exercise bike throughout the day in 5-10 minute increments). Between that and the food changes, I think 8 pounds is completely lose-able.

This weekend, I did a trial run of my hair/makeup/dress. It turned out great! I still need to get a haircut and get my nails done, but the thing that really needs to get done most is that my dress needs to be altered. And yes, I'm doing this myself! I have to hem it but since it's silk and I have never worked with silk before, I'm slightly terrified. With only 16 days until we leave, I'm out of time. The dress alterations goes on my to-do list for this week! Yikes!

The sad tragedy of this month is that I did not win NaNo WriMo. It's the last day of the month today, and my manuscript for Pandemic sits at just over 30,000 words. It's sad, but it's not the end of the world. It became a matter of priorities, and the fact of the matter is that my priority this month has been the wedding and making Christmas presents for family. I can't be mad at myself for that. Pandemic will still be here when we get back!

With that, I'm off to Jazzercise!

Great Diet Site!

I recently stumbled upon a great diet site that has so many helpful tips. You can find this site at http://diettogo.com As you all know, I am trying to lose weight, and the first article I read on the site was called "5 Ways to Keep Pounds Falling Like Leaves". So much of what the author wrote really spoke to me. She talks about how it's important to realize that significant weight loss can't happen overnight. How true!

So what were her five ways? Eat right (lots of fiber!), Eat smaller portions, Exercise, Visualize yourself thinner, and read self-help books and articles that keep you focused on your goals. I love that she doesn't claim there's some miracle cure out there. We all know that doesn't exist! It's all about being good to our bodies and staying active. I have recently added Jazzercise back to my routine, and I can definitely tell a difference in the way I feel AND the way I look. I need to work on the visualize part to try to keep my self-confidence up and stay focused. Also, the eating part gets me every time. What can I say? I love chocolate cake!

Anyway, this is an awesome blog, and I recommend you all go there and check it out if you are wanting to lose weight or are planning to go on a diet. You'll find some good advise there.

Less Calories / More Weight

I started my "diet" again, although I'm not going to really call it that. I have goals of how much I want to lose before our wedding, and even though we've already been engaged for eight months, I have only lost a total of 5 pounds. To be honest, though, I haven't really been trying.

But now that the wedding is getting closer, I know that if I want to reach my goals in time, I have to start working harder and get serious about them. I set a sort of mini-goal at 20 pounds by RWA Nationals, even though the truth is that I want to lose more by then. I have gotten off to a good start as far as calories and exercise, but when I stepped on the scale today, I gained a pound. I just don't even understand how that is possible. Losing weight can be so frustrating.

I guess it's a good idea not to step on the scale every day to check my weight, but I can't help it. I want to see some damn results for the hunger pains and the self-restraint. I started my calorie counting and such on Sunday, and right now I am sitting, somehow, at half a pound more than I was then... and a full pound more than I was yesterday. All I can do is keep sticking to my calorie count, drinking water, and exercising... and pray to God that by Sunday I have lost a pound or two.