Worrying About Money Sucks

I realize some people will probably hate me for saying this, but the past year has been relatively money-worry free for the first time since... well, since I was too young to need money. I was extremely blessed with a favorable divorce agreement and a wonderful man in my life that was wanted me to live with him, which definitely saved on rent :).

After getting engaged, however, the panic is starting to set in. Day to day life has been so pleasant and even though I have known I would have to start making money again soon, I have been basically confident that eventually the money would come. Suddenly, there's a need for money that I don't have, and it's like deja vu with the worries again. (especially taking into account our falling economy where middle class citizens are dropping like flies into the poverty bin)

The average American wedding costs something like $29,000, and even though we are forgoing the traditional church wedding, we have opted for a similarly expensive wedding/honeymoon combination in the Caribbean followed by a family celebration in South Carolina which is sure to cost us just as much as a traditional reception. Now, I realize that the world will not come to an end if we don't get the best suite in the Caribbean or if we end up just getting married at the courthouse and having to save the tropical adventure for another time. However, we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, and it would be nice to celebrate the occasion with pina coladas from our swim-up suite on the island of St. Lucia.

The bottom line is that if I want to experience this fairy tale destination wedding and casual but fun and alcohol-filled reception/celebration, I am going to have to start bringing in some serious cash. I have learned from the past that worrying about money completely sucks. It can consume you and destroy your happiness. It can definitely come between you and your loved ones. Those are all things that neither of us need right now, or ever. (Not that anyone ever NEEDS it, mind you, but you get what I mean.) So, instead of going into panic mode, which will surely spiral out of control and lead to depression and crazy behavior, I have decided to just work my ass off and do what needs to be done. I am, after all, an intelligent woman who is fully capable of making a good living. Hopefully. within the year I'll be booking that fantasy room in the Caribbean and worrying about nothing more than which sandals match my bikini the best.