Thinking about Women in Mid-life

I can't help but wonder how many 30-something, even 40-something women are out there who feel that they have lived half-lives. I don't mean that they are only half over with their life, but that where they are at this point in their lives is only half of what they meant to be. We have mostly been taught as women in this country that you can have and be anything you want. That is a wonderful advancement that has come through much radical thought and women taking risks and breaking molds.

But the mold is still there isn't it? Maybe it's changed a little bit, but it's still there. Aren't we still taught to go to college, find a husband, get married, start a career or decide to stay at home, have kids? Then what?? For most of us, there is nothing after that really. Be a good mom, try to have a decent career and figure out the best way to balance the two without feeling guilty all the time.

It has become expected that if anyone leaves the kids and family behind to start a new marriage or career, it's the man. Oftentimes, the man leaves his family without a whole lot of money and resources, which means the woman couldn't start a new career if she wanted to. Of course, I know it isn't always this way, but I know it's the more dominant situation in our times.

When you first go to college, they pretty much demand that you declare a major by sophomore year. That means that millions of people choose their entire life's path when they are 19 or 20 years old. But what do you do when you've been trudging through this career path for 10 or 20 years and you hate it? What does a woman who is 38 years old do when she realizes she is unhappy?? No one really ever talks about that. Society just assumes that if you have a child or two, a job, and a husband you ARE happy. Case closed. I think there are millions of women suffering in their current lives who feel that they have no way to break free and try something new. Money, or lack of it, holds us where we are in our jobs. Family duty and self-sacrifice practiced for years and years holds us to our obligations in the household.

Now, I am not advocating for mothers to start leaving their kids behind. I've just been thinking about this a lot lately and wondering what the choices are for someone who is unhappy even after they achieved all that was expected of them. Without a new goal or directive, are they just supposed to be happy and content until death sitting exactly where they already are in life? Any thoughts?