Last night was a nightmare. No, I didn't have bad dreams, I mean that it was literally a nightmare of a night. We went to bed around 1:30 and almost the second I laid down, I got a headache. I don't know how those suckers come on so quickly and without warning some times, but it was a bitch of one and it hurt like hell.
G spread some stuff called "Blue Oil" on my head and face. I got it from Aveda and it's basically peppermint oil and is supposed to help with headaches. Maybe he put too much or something, because shortly after that I got a terrible stomach ache. I have no idea why I didn't get up out of bed and try to take some Excedrin or something. Damn. I was in a state of half asleep, half awake and in pain all night long. I remember looking at the clock at various times in the night like 3, 4, 6:15, etc. and thinking I was in hell.
Then, of course, by the time I finally did get to sleep 100%, the fucking alarm went off and it was time to get up. I hate mornings normally, but this morning, I am HATING mornings. My right nostril is totally blocked with some sinus pressure bullshit, my tummy aches, and I still have a headache lingering from last night. I ask you: How do you recover from something like that to have a productive day? If you figure it out, let me know.
Headaches SUCK
Shopping Day
I have been stressing myself out way too much lately. The pressure of the upcoming National conference has been mounting and I've got so much still to do in the two weeks left before I leave. But the problem is that the more stressed I allow myself to feel, the less I get done.
There has to be a delicate balance here. I really have pushed myself over the past few months and have gotten a lot done, but it's still not where I wanted or planned to be. The trap I can't let myself fall into is freaking out now that I only have 15 days left and not getting anything done between now and then.
Sometimes knowing there is so much to do can truly be paralyzing. I am halfway finished with my novel, but I know that I can finish it before I go... as long as I can stay happy and as unstressed as possible (if that's a word). So, I was thinking... what is the best way I know to de-stress?
SHOPPING! Okay, so there is a tiny problem, of course, and that's money. I don't really have much money to go all out and go crazy shopping. On the other hand, I have planned out some funds so that I can buy a new suit or nice outfit for my agent/editor appointments. I can't spend much, but it doesn't cost anything to look! I am thinking that while I still need to get at least 3000 words written today, the time has come to take a "mental health" shopping day. Yes, it's completely selfish and indulgent, but fuck it. I deserve it, and it will make me happy.
And if you ask me, happiness is the key to continuing to be productive even in stressful times.
This is one of my favorite songs and videos. I know it's not his most amazing dancing videos or anything, but it still always touches my heart. We'll miss you Michael.
Michael Jackson is Dead
I honestly can hardly believe it. I know I have said before on this blog that I sometimes don't understand why celebrity deaths even matter to me, but they do. And this one in particular. I posted this picture also because that is how I remember him most from my childhood.
Michael Jackson was a man who shaped the music and dance of an entire generation... and beyond. His movements were liquid - smooth, flowing and so fast and fluid. He was the definition of "cool" and "smooth" to me growing up. My sister and I had the original 'Thriller' album and we wore that shit OUT. I can vividly remember sitting in our tiny little yellow house on Watson Street dancing to this music and running around screaming on the "scary" part of Thriller... I couldn't have been more than 8 years old. (I had to look it up, but that album was released in 1982, so at the time it came out, I was just 5 years old.)
Reading comments all over the web, there are mixed views on his death, just like there were on his life. Very few people can deny his amazing talent as an artist, but some people still are angry with him and believe that he molested little children. I don't know what the truth is, and now that he is gone, he is surely answering to a higher power than you or me or any one of the billions of people here on this Earth. There's no doubt the man had... issues. Hell, can you honestly sit there and tell me that if you were as famous as he was from the time you were a small child, and if you had a father that constantly was abusive, telling you you were too black and ugly, and if you were one of the most recognized faces in the ENTIRE world, you would have handled it much better than he did? Of course, most people say, "Yes, I would have been a better person." But the truth is, you can't judge another man until you've walked in his shoes. And let me tell you, if you walked in MJ's shoes, you would have been a freak too, I can almost guarantee it.
Watching his personal demise over the years has been a great sadness. So many people took advantage of him over the years, and he was forced to endure so much media attention and public stoning. I personally felt that if some of the people accusing him of hurting their children were more interested in civil lawsuits instead of criminal, there was definitely something fishy going on there. Everyone has their own opinion of what type of man Michael Jackson truly was, but it is my own personal belief that the man was a troubled genius who never hurt a child. He loved children more than anything. He just hated himself and I believe that he would have given anything to have his childhood back to live over again. Only God and the people who accused him truly know what happened, but people, when you allow your child to go into the home of someone accused of such crimes, you take those chances. Not that any child ever deserves to be molested or abused, but seriously? Parents who willingly allow their child to spend the night with an accused and trouble extremely rich man without a chaperone and then suddenly come up with their own accusations about him and want to only file civil suit against him... those parents are more whacked than MJ ever was. Just my two cents.
I didn't know Michael Jackson, of course. Not personally. As G has told me, he's not in my "monkey sphere". But I loved him. He made a difference in my life. I truly wanted to see him make a comeback and overcome the hate and sorrow and pain of his troubled life. I can only pray that in death - which has come way too soon for such an amazing genius - he has finally found the peace that he so desperately sought here in life. My prayers are with his family and his three children... and with his fans all over the world who today are in mourning for the passing of a truly great man.
Tossing and Turning
I hate not sleeping well. Not that there's probably anyone who says, man, I love it when I don't sleep well, but you know what I'm saying. Last night, I just tossed and turned for hours, and when I finally fell asleep, I had nightmares. I don't remember everything about my bad dreams, but I know that I was trapped in a building that I could get out of with people following me and trying to catch me. It was not a fun night.
So how do you recover from a poor night's sleep? Is there really any good way? If you have to go to work in a normal job, you have to just make it work I guess. You have to just try to stay awake and maybe just drink a ton of coffee. Me, I work from home. So, should I go back to bed for a few hours? Sometimes that really does seem to help. I wake up refreshed and happier and ready to work. But other times taking a nap just makes me feel worse. I get groggy and disoriented. I start to feel as though I've wasted my day and now I'm too far behind.
I guess the answer is just to keep pushing through it as best you can. Maybe on days like this where I wake up tired and craving pizza, which my fiance won't let me have, I should just push through. The problem there is that writing isn't like most jobs where you can push through and just go through the motions. You have to be creative and original, put words to paper that weren't there before. How do you do that when you're exhausted?
I guess I made it through this blog post.... so maybe all is not lost.
Sarah Jessica and Matthew Broderick have their Twins!
Okay, so it was their surrogate who had them, technically, but either way the twin girls are here and they are healthy! I can't wait to see pictures!
Born at 3:58 p.m., Marion Loretta Elwell weighed 5 lbs., 11 oz, and Tabitha Hodge Broderick weighed 6 lbs.People.com reported the above statement. It doesn't say if the twins will just be called Marion and Tabitha, but I have to say that I love the name Tabitha. I am very happy for them, and I know that SJP is going to be the most fabulous mom to twin girls!!! I rarely get excited about celebrity babies, but this time I really am. I can't help but love SJP, and it's not just because of Sex and the City, although that has to be a huge part of it. I have always loved her, pretty much all my life. Girls Just want to Have Fun was one of my absolutely favorite movies growing up. Sarah Jessica has always had style, and I have always had so much love and admiration for her. I wish her and her husband the very best and all the happiness in the world as they get ready to bring home their twin daughters!
Trains Collide in Washington D.C.
I haven't been able to bring myself to read all the details about the crash that killed at least seven people yesterday during rush hour. Maybe this event hits home more because in just 20 days, I'll actually be in D.C., probably using the Metro myself.
How does something like this happen? Aren't there sensors and things that are supposed to prevent something like this? Two trains on the same track during rush hour. One train was just sitting there, not moving, and the other came up on it. It hit so hard that the compartment of the train was 75% compressed.
I can't imagine what it must have been like for the passengers of the train. One moment you're moving along, heading home after a long day at work. Then suddenly the trains collide and you go flying from your seat. It must have been absolutely terrifying.
They are saying the death toll is seven, but it's unclear whether or not that is a final report/count. In some news reports, they have announced they were uncertain if there were more bodies inside the compressed train because they had not been able to cut it open to see if there were bodies inside. I understand that treating the injured takes priority, but hopefully they have taken the time to find out, for the victim's families' sake. It's such a tragic thing.
Between plane crashes and now trains in the news, it really brings it home that anything can happen at any time. Even somewhere that you feel you are safe. I have ridden on subways and Metro type trains more than two dozen times at least and have never once worried about crashing into another train. It certainly doesn't happen that often thank God. It's just scary to realize that it's even possible.
My heart goes out to the victim's and their families.
