To Get A Job? Or NOT To Get A Job?

That is the question...

G and I were up 'til freaking 3 something in the morning talking about money. Basically, the short of it is that the publishing business is freakishly slow, so even if I happen to finish three novels before October, there's a very slim chance an editor will have really looked at it, much less paid me for it. I could try to find an agent, but that's 15% off the top, so by the time my $5000 advance got to me and I pay taxes on it, I'll have more like $2500'ish... which is no week in the Caribbean my friends. And, of course, there's no guarantee I'd get anywhere near $5000 in the first place... that's just the average first advance, but average means some are much lower and some are much higher.

If we are going to be able to raise the $7000 it is going to cost to stay in our dream room in St. Lucia, we are going to have to make at least an extra $1000 a month. Yikes! It makes me insane sometimes to think about it. I have been so spoiled in being able to stay at home for the past year and a half, but the shitty thing is that I had so many emotional and personal issues there for a while that I really didn't get much done. Now, I am being more productive, but now I face the need to make some damn money. I am thinking maybe I should get a job????

Of course, then we consider the fact that jobs these days are not growing on trees. I was up late into the night cruising various job sites, and the sad thing is that even with a master's degree, I'm not really qualified to do much of anything. Every job you see wants at least 2 years experience, which leads me to the age old question of how do you get experience in the first place if no one will hire you? I certainly don't want to work full time for minimum wage or just barely over it. AHHHHHH! It makes me want to scream at myself for not already having three or four novels finished by now!

Another part of me says just stick with the writing full time and work really hard to get several things finished. Then, if I don't have an advance yet by October that will pay for a wedding, we just go down to city hall or something and get married. We can go on vacation whenever the money does finally come through. What's more important? What's the most productive thing? Will I be able to write and finish several novels this year if I'm working 40 hours a week? People do it all the time, right?

Anyway, this is where I am today... just sort of stuck in limbo trying to figure it all out.