Most of the time I think I don't get enough sleep. We go to bed around 1:00 am or later most nights and then get up at 8 or 8:30. Sure that's 7 or 7 1/2 hours of sleep, but it never feels like enough. Then, last night I was upset and decided to just go to bed early, so I went in at around 10 pm. I specifically remember waking up at 4:30 and thinking that it must be time to get up, but when I looked at the clock, I was like, Fuck that. So I went back to sleep, of course. I officially didn't get up out of bed until 8:45 this morning, which means I got somewhere in the ballpark of 10 hours and 45 minutes of sleep. Way too much I guess, because I feel tired now.
So what in the hell is the magic sleep number? And, no, I'm not talking about those stupid sleep number beds. What I'm talking about is time. What is the magic number of hours that I need to sleep to feel good when I wake up. Part of me wonders if it's six and a half hours simply because I naturally woke up after that amount of sleep and thought it was time to get up. But then I think, no way it's only six and a half hours. I am still sleepy after seven, and I find it hard to believe that seven falls into the "Too much sleep" category.
One study I read actually said that people who sleep between 6.5 and 7.5 hours a night on average live longer than those who sleep more or less, so maybe there really is something to that six and a half hour thing.
Here's my other problem with sleep times, though. Okay, so let's say I want to try to sleep six and a half hours every night to give it a shot. I have never been the type of person who can just lay down and go to sleep within minutes. Usually, I am awake for quite some time while my brain continues to work through some problem or worry or story, making it difficult for me to sleep. Some nights I might lay there for twenty minutes, but other nights, I can look at the clock and see that over an hour has passed and I am still wide awake. If I set my alarm for six and a half hours after I laid down, on those nights, I'd already be down to five and a half just because I couldn't get to sleep. /sigh. There's just no good way to make sure you get a certain amount of sleep.
Sometimes sleep is my favorite thing and other times I feel like it's the bane of my existence. What I really wish is that we could sleep for as long as we needed to and then wake up refreshed and ready to go, no matter what time it is. I wish we didn't need an alarm at all, just an internal awareness that we've gotten the exact amount of needed hours of sleep and can now wake up. Keep dreamin, sweetie...
Too Much Sleep vs. Not Enough Sleep
My Friend's New Book
One of the most exciting things that has happened since I joined the Heart of Carolina Romance Writers group is becoming part of a smaller critique group of only three people. Me, Karen Anders, and Jennifer Harrington. I don't know how I got so lucky!! Jennifer, like me, is unpublished, but hopefully not for long.
Karen, on the other hand, is not only a multi-published author for Harlequin, she has a book that was only just released from Harlequin's Blaze line. Walking into a book store and picking up a book written by a friend has to be one of the most exciting things to do as a writer. Maybe not quite as exciting as seeing your own book, but it's a close second!
Karen Anders' new book is called Up Close and Dangerously Sexy and is the first in a three book mini-series called Undercover Lovers. If you want to check out what else Karen has written or find out more about her new book, you can go to Harlequin's website and read more (or even buy it, of course!). Also, Karen's website has just been re-designed and it looks so amazing!
Congratulations to Karen on her new book. And here's hoping that mine won't be too far behind. :)
Three out of Four Americans Are Scared
According to cnn, a new poll indicates that three out of four Americans are scared about the way things are going in the country. Oh really? I certainly hope they didn't spend millions of dollars trying to figure that one out. I could have told them that for free.
Of course we're scared! Most of the older generation and the baby boomers believed they had their careers on lock-down and their retirements all bundled up... then poof! In an instant all of that was gone for so many people. And it's particularly scary I would imagine for the over 50 crowd simply because those that thought they could retire in 10 years will now possibly have to work until the day they die due to lost retirement savings or loss of job.
Now, the younger generation of workers, like the newly graduated to the 30 year olds are all scared because they have oodles of debt in college loans and they still can't find a job. There was a time when we were led to believe that it didn't matter how much you borrowed for college. The job would be there when you got out and it wouldn't be hard to pay it all off. Now, that's overwhelmingly untrue, and how in the world are the loans going to get paid off? This, in turn, only stresses out the 50+ generation even more because their 30 year old kids are coming back home to live with them!
So, what about the 30-50 crowd? Technically, I suppose that's my crowd, even though I feel that I identify with the younger crowd as far as loan debt and lack of job. This group is mixed. We know we need to be saving for our retirement, but we also were hoping that these years of our lives would be filled with building our fortune and moving up in our careers. We want to start families, but everything is stressful. The average married couple in this age range is ready to reproduce, but they are faced with the question of child care and health care. Daycare or childcare is way too expensive to afford, making it seem almost as if one spouse is working simply to pay for the daycare. But... staying home instead of working isn't really an option either because one income simply isn't enough to pay the bills. Either way, many are finding themselves drowning and losing hope.
Of course, some people, like the mother of these octuplets who already had six children and lived with her mother... they seem to be fine. Why? Because the government pays for them to be fine. They have no qualms about mooching off of the government or their community or their parents. Basically, all of us who are struggling are paying for her to be frivolous and stupid about her reproductive choices.
So, it only makes sense that three out of four are scared. The one out of four people who aren't scared are the ones who are either in very stable jobs or who have wads of money in the bank either from their trust fund or from their stable jobs. In an instant, however, that one person could be right there with the other three... broke and terrified. I wish I had a solution to offer, but I'm afraid I'm out of ideas when it comes to fixing the economy. Let's hope Obama isn't...
Slumdog Millionaire wins Big at the Oscars
After watching the 81st Academy Awards last night, there are now so many movies I want to see! Usually by Oscar time, I've seen a great many of the movies up for awards, but not this year for some reason. Maybe it's a money thing, or maybe it's just about being so busy... All I know is that now I have a list of at least twelve movies I want to rent as soon as they come to DVD.
Hugh Jackman was the night's host, and he did the best job of anyone since Billy Crystal back in the day. I honestly never knew that Hugh Jackman could sing and dance, so watching that gorgeous man pull out all the stops was really fun to watch. RIght at the beginning, he did a hilarious song and dance number that outlined the major films of the year... even bringing Anne Hathaway up on stage to sing and dance with him (she played Richard Nixon in his hilarious skit)... and it turns out she can sing too! Maybe someone out
there was watching thinking to put the two of them together in a musical soon! Haha!
The very first award of the evening, Best Actress in a Supporting Role, went to Penelope Cruz, and she brought tears to my eyes. She was wearing a gorgeous off-white vintage gown and gave an elegant speech to match. One thing she said that touched my heart is that, "Where I come from, this is not a very realistic dream." I hear ya sister. I know exactly what you're talking about there. But, realistic or not, she made it, and her performance in Vickie Christina Barcelona won her an Oscar.
What follows now is a list of the award, then who won, and any other thoughts I had during the awards ceremony at that time.
Original Screenplay - Dustin Lance Black for MILK. Black looked so young, like 17 young, although I am sure he's at least in his 20s. You could tell he has a passion for the subject of gay rights, and that theme seemed to echo throughout the evening. I whole-heartedly agree with him... everyone should have equal rights.
Adapted Screenplay - The first of many Oscars for the movie, Slumdog Millionaire, adapted by Simon Beaufuoy.
Best Animated Feature - Wall-E, which I really would like to see. Presenting the animation awards was Jack Black and Jennifer Aniston. She looked amazing, as usual, and not a day over 30, so it's very hard to believe she's 40! Of course, the camera people had to keep panning over to shots of Brad and Angelina in the front row, smiling up at Jen.
Best Animated Short Film - La Mason en Petits Cubes by Kunio Kato, a very cute asian man who did his best to deliver his speech in English. Sometimes I do wonder why short film and such are still a part of the main event, since obviously 99% of the viewing public has never seen these films. Anyway...
The next batch of awards was given away by Sarah Jessica Parker and the guy from The Transporter (can never remember his name... isn't he James Bond also now?) She looked completely fabulous, of course.
Art Direction - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Costume Design - The Duchess Michael O'Connor
Makeup - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Hard to believe this beat out Hellboy II with it's monsters, but I guess it is a challenge to get Brad Pitt looking like an old man.)
Cinematography - Anthony Dodd Mantle for Slumdog Millionaire. - Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller presented this award and Natalie looked amazing (but extremely skinny) in a long pink gown, while Stiller played the comedian in a long fake beard and sunglasses. It was one of the best parts of the show, honestly.
Live Action Short Film - Spielzeugland (Toyland). The man who wrote and directed this film grew up in East Germany, a very long way from Hollywood. It struck me that he said he worked four years on a fourteen minute movie. Wow. And I feel behind on my writing after less than two? Puts things into perspective perhaps.
"The Musical Is Back" - Continuing his very entertaining and fabulous MC job, Hugh Jackman and dancers performed a medley of songs from popular movie musicals of the past. There to join him was Beyonce Knowles, looking gorgeous as ever in a slinky red number. Baz Lurhman put together the medley (director of Romeo + Juliet with Leo, and also Australia director, as well as Moulin Rouge)
Best Supporting Actor - One of the most anticipated awards of the evening. ALthough there 
were some extremely talented actors in the lot of them, I think it was impossible to win this year against Heath Ledger. His father, mother and sister accepted the award for him, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. This is, I believe, only the second Oscar awarded to an actor who has passed away.
Documentary - Man on Wire.
Documentary Short - Smile Pinki (about children with cleft palletes.)
Visual Effects -The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which beat out blockbusters Ironman and Dark Knight.
Sound Editing - The Dark Knight.
Sound Mixing - Slumdog Millionaire
Film Editing - Slumdog Millionaire
Original Score - A.R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire.
Best Original Song - A.R. Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire - Jai Ho. Accepting these awards, Rahman said, "All my life, I had a choice between hate and love. I chose love, and I'm here." I wonder if he meant taking a job he hated but was secure, and taking a job he loved, which led him to fame and fortune? Who knows.
Foreign Film - Departures from Japan. ("I'm bery bery happy." - so cute)
Before the four top awards were given, Queen Latifah came onstage and performed the song "I'll be seeing you..." while the giant screen behind her went through all of the people in the movie business who passed away this year. Some notable ones to mention: Bernie Mac (still can't believe he's gone), Michael Crichton (who wrote Jurrassik Park), Isaac Hayes, Ricardo Montalban, Charlton Heston, Sydney Pollack, and Paul Newman. I personally didn't see that Heath Ledger was even included in this tribute, but surely I just missed him? /shrug.
Best Director - Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire - This is the same guy who directed Trainspotting, one of my all-time favorite movies.
Best Actress in a Lead Role - Nominees in this category were legends for the most part - Anne Hathaway, Kate Winslet, Melissa Leo (who I don't know), Meryl Streep (with her record 15th nomination), and Angelina Jolie. The Oscar went to Kate Winslet, making me desperately want to see The Reader now. And, as a side note, seeing Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry standing there looking so thin and beautiful was insane... did these women honestly recently give birth? Crazy...
Best Actor in a Lead Role - Nominees were Frank Langella, Sean Penn, Richard Jenkins (A man whose face you definitely recognize, but whose name is lesser known), Bradd Pitt (who doesn't have that problem), and Mickey Rourke (comeback of the century. You could see his hands shaking and I almost wanted him to win just for that reason) But the winner was Sean Penn for MILK, his portrayal of slain gay activist Harvey Milk was apparently spot on, and I now I want to see that movie as well. His speech started out... "You commy, homo-loving sons of guns." haha. He also took time to speak out for equal rights for everyone, saying that those people who voted to again ban gay marriage would someday be ashamed for that choice. I won't go into it here, but I seriously don't understand why people see gay marriage as a bad thing. If two people are in love and want to make that committment, for God's sake let them!
And finally... Best Motion Picture of the year.
Nominees were: Frost/ Nixon, Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader, MILK, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And the Oscar went to .... Slumdog Millionaire. 
The producer who accepted the award gave me chills when he said, "When we started this movie, we had no stars. No power or muscle. Not enough money to do what we wanted to do. All we had was made love and a story we passionately wanted to tell. Passion and Belief... with that anything is possible." I thought that was a beautiful note to end on.
Point Made
Just have to post this before I go to bed. I have a link to People.com's top stories on my homepage, and what is the news tonight? Danny Gokey "spoke candidly about his late wife, who died just weeks before his Idol audition, and says she would have been "so happy" to see him on the show." Did I tell you so or what? He's got America eating out of his hands, and the Idol producers are loving every minute of it. Hell, they probably killed his wife just for the ratings. Tasteless joke? Yes, but come on... you know it's possible.
Danny Gokey, Real or Fake?
American Idol has moved on to the stage where they begin to whittle down the Top 36 into the Top 12. This year, the actual elimination rounds are tougher than ever as idols compete in groups of 12 and only the top male and female vote-winners and the next highest vote-winner move on to the next round. Basically, what that means is 9 people are eliminated just like that. One chance. And what if you end up in a bad heat, so to speak? Where the very best three singers of the whole competition are in your group? Maybe you could have beaten people in the next group of 12, but this week, you're toast. Oh well, no one ever claimed Idol was fair.
This morning I want to talk a little bit about Danny Gokey, one of last night's top 3 moving on to the Top 12 round of the competition up on the big stage. Let me just preface this argument by saying Danny Gokey is extremely talented. There's no doubt the guy can sing.
With that being said, I still wonder if he's as good as the hype. This guy was going to be successful on Idol this year automatically. In fact, I think even if he had missed some words or notes in Tuesday night's performance, he would still be moving on even though singers like Anoop and Ricky were truly just as good.
Danny has two indisputable things going for him at this point.
Number 1. He has gotten an enormous amount of press in the pre-rounds of the competition. He's been featured and re-featured and photographed and held out in front of us like a little puppet. People will vote for him simply because they recognize him as someone they should vote for because the producers have put these subliminal messages into our brains about him. They basically spent weeks advertising him to us.
Number 2. (And this is where people may start hating me) His wife, Sophie, died just four weeks before his initial audition. I mean, the guy's what? 24 years old or something? And everyone watching AI up to this point knows the very sad story about how his wife, the absolute love of his life, died of some disease she'd had since childhood just before he auditioned. His friends convinced him to carry on to the audition, because that's what "Sophie would have wanted." Cry me a fucking river, okay? Yes, I feel bad for the guy. It's not fair for anyone to have their love taken from them so soon and so early in their life. On the other hand, the producers are milking it for all its worth. They have guilted Americans into thinking they pretty much have to vote for the guy because he deserves to go forward. Not simply because he's talented, but because he's been through a lot and needs our help to move on??? There's something wrong with that logic. American Idol is, after all, supposed to be about talent. Not pity.
And talk about being in a bad heat. How is anyone supposed to compete with this guy? I mean, it's a terrible way to say it, but it's almost like in some ways, he was fortunate to lose his wife when he did. It might just mean an American Idol win or at the very least, a recording deal worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Would he trade all that for a chance to be with his wife again? That's the question: is he real in his sorrow or is it just a game? No one knows that but Danny Gokey.
Rain
I got up this morning to let my dog out and it's raining. For some reason, I am happy to see the rain pouring down today. According to my little weather channel desktop, it's 90% chance it'll rain for the rest of the day. Sure, it'll be a messy day, but there can be something so cleansing about a day of rain also.
Of course, come 3:30 when I'm trying to get to a voice lesson, I'll probably wish it wasn't raining, but for now, it's comforting somehow. I think I'll probably open a window and work somewhere I can hear it. It's not a thunderstorm or a downpour, just a light rain. Feels like Spring is very near.
Reality TV Heaven
If you love watching Reality TV, then you know that right now, there are so many great shows starting up. Almost every single one of my favorite reality shows is either just starting or will start soon. Survivor started last Thursday and the cast seems to be mostly young and energetic. The Amazing Race just started last night, and even though I haven't actually watched it yet, I did record it and will probably watch it today sometime. American Idol began over a month ago, I think, but this week marks the first real week of America's votes. Up to now, it has just been auditions and Hollywood week episodes. I think there are a lot of really amazing voices in the competition this year, so it should be a good season. I like the new judge, kara, also.
Next week, there is a new season of America's Next Top Model starting. I haven't seen any news yet on whether Tyra Banks is still going to be leading it or not. The rumor last season was that she wouldn't be back. Guess we will find out! The Biggest Loser - another favorite. It's already quite a ways into the season, but there is still a ton to go. THat show makes me cry almost every single episode. It's so inspiring to watch people taking their lives into their own hands and making a difference. I think there is a new Apprentice starting too, which used to be one of my favorites. But it's another Celebrity Apprentice, and I could never really get into those as much. It's just a lot of rich people throwing around their weight and calling in favors, etc. I would much rather watch a group of real, average everyday people trying to get their dream job with The Trump. I probably won't watch that one, but all of the others are already programmed into my DVR. The only problem I'm going to have is finding time to watch it all.
The bad news? If you hate reality TV, you just might be in TV hell...
Survivor Recaps Starting up Again
Today I started posting on my Survivor Recap blog again if anyone is interested in the show. I hope to keep up with at least a short recap of each episode. Go to this link to check out more information on Survivor: Tocantins.
Hello Kitty Online
If you have been following my random blog, you know that I love to play Everquest 2. EQ2 is in MMORPG, which means Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. Hundreds of thousands of people across the globe log in, make characters, and go on quests and adventures to raise their level, get equipment that will help them be stronger and better, and meet new friends. Yes, it is a game, but it's more than just a game. MMO's offer a social aspect to gaming that you can't find on a single-player or even a regular 2-4 multiplayer type game.
One of the latest MMORPG's to go into development is Hello Kitty Online! You make a character and do quests, go on adventures, build your own house, grow a farm, and harvest resources. I have only spent a small time playing it in Beta, but I really enjoyed it. This weekend there is a HKO Founders event (I am a founder) for Valentine's Day, so I am hoping to log in for a little while and check out the changes to the game since I last played. After this weekend, the game will go offline again while they tweak the problems and make the game better.
It's free to play, so if you're interested, check it out at the Hello Kitty Online Homepage. You might just be surprised at how much fun it is! Besides it might be a good way to keep you occupied on an otherwise depressing weekend. Haha!
Yaz and Me
Just about two weeks ago I started taking a new birth control. It's called Yaz. I am not sure when this particular pill came out on the market, but it is definitely one of the newer ones. Its two main claims to fame are 1.) You are only supposed to have a 4 day period due to there being 24 days of regular pills and only 4 placebos or whatever they call it, and 2.) Yaz is the first pill that treats PMDD, which is the crazy emotional rollercoaster some women, like me, go through around that time of the month.
Okay, so those are the main selling points for this particular pill. What is my experience so far? Well, I'm two weeks in and I've pretty much had an upset stomach every day. For me, this is pretty normal the first month or two of birth control pills. I started out taking the pills at lunch, but by the time dinner rolled around, I was sick. I changed the time and have started taking the pill at dinner, so now I think I am mostly sleeping through the sickness in the middle of the night, which is working out well so far.
The second problem? I started my freakin' period. Yes, cramps and all. I have 10 days left of pink pills in this pack, yet I am on my period. This completely sucks. I have heard that sometimes people experience breakthrough bleeding or spotting, but this is neither as far as I can tell. This is just normal, feel like complete shit, period. What I'm wondering now is how long it's going to last, and whether I'll start my period AGAIN in 10 days when the pink pills run out. Hopefully this is just a very temporary problem and next month, my body will have adjusted to the pill and the timing.
Excuses
If you think about it, most of us use some kind of excuse every day. We all make excuses for things we were supposed to do or things we planned to do, but didn't, or excuses to get out of things we just plain don't want to do. We make excuses to get ourselves out of trouble and to justify our laziness or our inability to perform. Sometimes, excuses are just to make us feel better about ourselves. If you can honestly get through a single day without using an excuse, either to someone else or to yourself, then you are a unique individual.
G and I were talking about it last night, and we decided to write a book about excuses and how they sometimes control our lives. It's just a project we will use to give the non-fiction genre / self-help genre a try to see if we are capable of writing a book together that might get published.
As for my own personal journey, I am going to do my best to not use any lame excuses today. :) We'll see how it goes.
Random Back Pain
Oh Lord, last night I thought I was going to have to wake G up and make him take me to the ER. For some strange reason, my back just started hurting after I laid down to sleep. I tried to adjust position, but nothing would help. I got up, ran a hot bath, laid in there for a little while, but that didn't help either. I heated up this pad we have and laid on the couch downstairs with the heating pad on my sore back, and that was the first thing that helped. I didn't get back to bed until sometime after 4am, and even then I found myself just praying for sleep so that I could stop hurting, or at least stop being aware that I was hurting. What a crappy night.
I feel somewhat better today, but it is still sore. Is it possible this is all from stress?
How Valuable is Sleep?
Sometimes I wish that I didn't need to sleep. Wouldn't it be great if we could just sleep for say, 24 hours straight, then wake up and stay awake and productive for the next five or six days? If we could just store up the sleep that we get, that would honestly be possible. It's not though, and I didn't need to do some long, drawn-out research study to figure it out. I was trying to remember the longest I ever stayed awake without a single minute of sleep, but I just can't place it. It was probably right around 26 hours or so, but not much longer. I know that I have had prolonged periods of time when I only slept about 4 hours before getting back up and trying to be functional, but believe me, that does not happen anymore!
There are a lot of different theories about how long a person can actually stay up. We've all probably heard some "fact" about how you will simply die if you stay up longer than ten days straight or something like that. I haven't been able to find any actual evidence that is true, but that doesn't really mean much since I do my research on the internet, ha!
One thing is certain: The longer you stay up, the less you can function. I would say that after about 18 hours of staying up and being active, I start to fade away mentally and physically. My eyes get tired and feel dry. My muscles begin to ache. I usually will get a bad headache or tummy ache on top of that. Every hour after 18 is exponentially worse. Sometimes I think my need for long periods of sleep are a result of many years of only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night when I was younger. Is it possible to carry a sleep deprivation with you for years to come?
I certainly don't know the answer. All I have is personal experience. When I was in high school and college, I pushed myself so hard academically and socially. I didn't sleep much at all because I felt that if I slept, I would miss something important. Weird, but true. On average for the last couple years of high school as well as all four of undergraduate, I would say that I slept about 4 hours a night. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but never much more than that. When I would go home for Thanksgiving or something... I would sleep for twelve or more hours straight. I was so exhausted! I was able to function through it during school, but as I got older, I started to really feel the effects of those years of sleep deprivation.
Now that I am in my 30's I would say that I need 8 or 9 hours of sleep a night to feel my best. Unfortunately, G and I don't usually make it to bed until 1am or after, and then we are up at 8 or 8:30. For most people, 7 hours of sleep should be fine. For me, it never seems like enough. I really wish I could go back to the days of 4 hours of sleep a night followed by very awake and happy to be so days. Unfortunately, I think I used up my quota of those days before I was 22 years old.
My question now is whether, after years of feeling tired all the time, I will eventually get enough sleep that I will be able to go back to a reasonable six hours of sleep a night. I'll let you know...
More Sex and The City
Yay! They have officially announced a second Sex and the City movie! Everyone is on board from what they are saying, which means the same great writer, same amazing actresses, same trendy stylists. According to People.com, they will start filming this summer and the movie is slated to come out summer 2010.
I'm very excited, but I have to wonder where they'll take this next movie. Carrie and Big are already married and that has been the central love story of the entire series. Maybe they will have a baby? Hmm. And Samantha is over 50, which isn't old old, but is definitely bordering on the dangerous, I'm-not-really-interested-in-seeing-you-naked-having-sex-anymore phase. At least we know the script will be in Michael Patrick King's able hands.
Makes me want to watch my DVD of the first movie today....
The Best Rejection
It's very strange, but I swear I had a feeling something was going to come in yesterday. I've been waiting to hear back from the latest editor/publisher about my short story and Woman's World magazine about my very short story. Somehow, I just felt that I would hear about one or the other. And I did. At about 9:00 last night, an editor from the publishing house I sent it to emailed me. In terms of rejections, it was the best possible scenario. She gave me a full paragraph on how I could improve my story, and then continued to praise my writing style. She mainly said I just needed to beef up on the character development and the romance elements a bit more to make it right for the genre.
The exciting news is that she said she thinks I have a lot of potential and in the future, she would like to see more submissions from me. Instead of sending future manuscripts through the slushpile of unsolicited projects, she asked me to send it directly to her. It means the world to me to know that an actual editor believes in me and thinks that I can be a good author. Sure, my very first manuscript needs a little bit of work, but how many people write a perfect manuscript on their first try? Even though I am disappointed that they won't be publishing my novella, I am very happy that I got such a positive response back. To me, it means that I am on the right track and so very very close to something great.
To Get A Job? Or NOT To Get A Job?
That is the question...
G and I were up 'til freaking 3 something in the morning talking about money. Basically, the short of it is that the publishing business is freakishly slow, so even if I happen to finish three novels before October, there's a very slim chance an editor will have really looked at it, much less paid me for it. I could try to find an agent, but that's 15% off the top, so by the time my $5000 advance got to me and I pay taxes on it, I'll have more like $2500'ish... which is no week in the Caribbean my friends. And, of course, there's no guarantee I'd get anywhere near $5000 in the first place... that's just the average first advance, but average means some are much lower and some are much higher.
If we are going to be able to raise the $7000 it is going to cost to stay in our dream room in St. Lucia, we are going to have to make at least an extra $1000 a month. Yikes! It makes me insane sometimes to think about it. I have been so spoiled in being able to stay at home for the past year and a half, but the shitty thing is that I had so many emotional and personal issues there for a while that I really didn't get much done. Now, I am being more productive, but now I face the need to make some damn money. I am thinking maybe I should get a job????
Of course, then we consider the fact that jobs these days are not growing on trees. I was up late into the night cruising various job sites, and the sad thing is that even with a master's degree, I'm not really qualified to do much of anything. Every job you see wants at least 2 years experience, which leads me to the age old question of how do you get experience in the first place if no one will hire you? I certainly don't want to work full time for minimum wage or just barely over it. AHHHHHH! It makes me want to scream at myself for not already having three or four novels finished by now!
Another part of me says just stick with the writing full time and work really hard to get several things finished. Then, if I don't have an advance yet by October that will pay for a wedding, we just go down to city hall or something and get married. We can go on vacation whenever the money does finally come through. What's more important? What's the most productive thing? Will I be able to write and finish several novels this year if I'm working 40 hours a week? People do it all the time, right?
Anyway, this is where I am today... just sort of stuck in limbo trying to figure it all out.
Never Enough Time
Why does it seem like there is just never enough time in a day? There is so much I want to accomplish, but sometimes it seems so overwhelming. I have so much cleaning to do around the house that it's pathetic. I set a goal to have a novel completely finished by the end of February to submit to Silhouette Desire. There's friends I wish I kept in better touch with, not to mention family... especially my cousin who is planning her wedding and just found out her Dad has stage 4 cancer. And, as silly and stupid as it sounds coming next to that... I am in a new guild in Everquest 2 and I have goals for my dps and gear that it's hard to find time to work on. Then there's the extra money issue. G and I are trying to earn at least an extra $492 this month. (As to how we came to that exact number, don't ask, lol... there is a method to our madness.) Of course, since G is the one with the full time all day long job, most of that extra money is my responsibility. Without an actual paycheck coming in from somewhere, I have to find the time and the means to make that happen. Yes, goals are nice and they keep you moving and motivated, but sometimes I wonder how I'll ever have the time to get it all done.
SuperBowl Commercials
When I was younger, I used to like to watch the Super Bowl simply because it was a good date opportunity. The commercials were always a plus as well. The game, on the other hand, was basically the least of my concern. I usually didn't even know who was playing each other.
Now that I have settled into a wonderful relationship with my fiance, who, by the way, isn't really that into football either, I have no desire to watch the Super Bowl. Sure, I still want to see the commercials, but these days we have the magic of the internet!
You can go to MSN and watch all of last night's Super Bowl commercials. I personally only watched the ten that they said were the best. Out of those 10, I would say that only 3 of them really made me laugh out loud. Take a look and see what you think:
Bridgestone: Potato Heads
Bud Light: Office Meeting
E-Trade: Babies
For me, the E-Trade Babies is the best. When that cute little black boy starts singing, "Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again...." it seriously cracked me up. Good to know that some companies out there have found a way to bring some laughter to this terrible economy. Bud Light did a good job with that theme as well. How many times have I wanted to throw someone out of a window like that? Too many to count, my friend.
