SJP is possibly my favorite actress of all time. I loved her back in the "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" days, and after "Sex and the City" began, I was hooked for life. It's hard to believe she's 44 years old, but time flies... and better her than me.
Sarah Jessica has been happily married to Matthew Broderick for twelve years, and they are one of my very favorite Hollywood couples. Their son, James Wilkie, is already six years old, and I heard they had trouble conceiving him back then. Well, the happy couple has just announced that they are going to be parents again! They are expecting twin daughters this summer!
"Wow! She doesn't look pregnant with twins!" You might be saying. Broderick and Parker enlisted the help of a surrogate. The news conference doesn't say why, but people all over the web have been very quick to judge, saying that SJP is "Vain" about her looks and doesn't want to stretch out her thin stomach. WTF? Who are these people? Did you ever stop to think that it might be (Duh!) the fact that she's 44 freaking years old and already once had trouble getting pregnant!
Having a surrogate basically means that someone else who is healthy and able to carry a baby easily to term is carrying the couple's fertilized egg in her womb. It's still Broderick and SJ's biological child. They just needed some help in the baby housing and growing department. I personally think it is a beautiful thing.
I can't wait to see the cute twin girls, and most importantly, I can't wait to see if they inherit their mother's fashion sense.
Sarah Jessica Parker to have twins at 44!
"Hiring Freeze" My Ass
Day 1 of the Great Job Search did not go too well. In the past when I have applied to a restaurant for a server position, it has gone like this:
- Walk in, say "Hi, are you hiring servers?"
- If yes, get and fill out an application.
- Turn it in, talk to a manager.
- Get hired.
Buzz words and phrases like that annoy the shit out of me. "Hiring Freeze", "Out of Harm's Way", "Unavailable for Comment". They might as well be saying "Bullshit" "Bullshit" "Bullshit". The media makes up these say-nothing phrases and then people pounce on them like they were the last damn piece of chocolate in the world. /sigh. Anyway, I digress.
All in all, I put applications in at about six places yesterday. Then, I sent in my resume to a few hotels hiring front desk attendants. When I got home, I saw an ad online for an office job really close to my house that said "apply in person", so I ran out with a copy of my resume and applied there as well. I guess if I put myself out there, eventually something will stick. Hopefully.
The "J" Word
Yes, it's time. I am looking for a job.
Technically, I already have a job... more than one really. But since no one is lining up to buy my novels just yet, a job that doesn't pay isn't exactly going to help us pay for our wedding. Short of draining our savings (which isn't really an option), this is the only way I can think of to make money for the wedding fast enough to actually get married this year.
With our shift in plans from a Caribbean wedding to a longer road trip Vegas wedding/honeymoon, the cost of our vacation actually got cut by more than half. (Yay!) That's definitely good news. Now I just need to find a job that I can work part-time to start saving up. Finding a job and being more active in general might actually be good for my writing. I'm hoping it will force me to manage my time more efficiently.
So what job? What I really wanted to do most was substitute teach. $90 a day for certified teachers isn't bad at all. Plus, I enjoy teaching. Unfortunately, the school system here is on the dreaded "hiring freeze" that has become so popular these days. I can't for the life of me figure out why that includes substitutes, who are usually in high demand and cost absolutely nothing unless they actually work, but it does. I turned in my application well over 2 months ago, but they will not process it until July. So that's that.
The only other thing I can do where I can potentially make pretty good money is to wait tables. Is that a stupid job for a 32 year old to try to get? It makes me feel old to even think about, honestly. But it can be good money, and to make it even better, I'm sure to lose weight by default. I looked at getting a hotel front desk job so that I could try to squeeze in some writing at work, but those jobs aren't easy to find to be honest. Not sure why, but that's the way it is. So server is the fastest and the easiest. I applied at Carolina Ale House yesterday, and today I'll head in to try to speak to a manager. Wish me luck. Hopefully I'll get hired and can start right away. As long as their training program isn't too long, I could be making good tips in a couple of weeks. I'll keep you posted.
If it Isn't One Thing....
Why does it always seem that just when you get one part of your life on the right track, a different part falls to pieces? Some people would call it Murphy's Law. I don't really know what I'd call it... other than frustrating and completely unfair.
If you get your love life finally settled, you lose your job. You get a little bit of extra money, then you break a tooth and have to spend it all fixing the damn tooth. Those are both just random examples, of course, but it happens. Right? It happens to me anyway, so I'm assuming it happens to you too.
My particular issue these days isn't so much the things I can't control (like a broken tooth or a job or whatever), but rather the things I should be able to control. Let me elaborate. If I start concentrating on working out and I start losing weight, suddenly I realize that I've not gotten any writing done at all. Or if I'm writing a ton and really getting some great progress in, I look around me and notice that the laundry needs to be done and there are papers strewn all over the damn place. For some reason, I can't keep it all together at the same time. Aren't women supposed to be great at multi-tasking?? Maybe I'm missing that gene or something.
If I boil my life down to basic goals and responsibilities, here is what it comes down to:
- Keeping my relationship healthy (and no, I'm not just talking about sex!)
- Writing a novel
- Working online to make extra money through adsense, odd jobs, etc.
- Exercising to be healthy and lose weight
- Cleaning the house
- Creating crafts like baby bows and painted pots, etc. to sell online and at flea market
- Reading books both about writing and by good authors to learn more about writing
If I try to think about getting all of those things done, I start to freak out. But if I try to concentrate on one thing at a time, I start to lose sight of the other things. I know that it's not impossible to do all of those things, because I look around and see other people that have it together (or at least they sure do seem like it). Is it a personality flaw with me then? Or am I just being lazy? How do I change?
Those are the questions running through my mind this morning. The only answer I can come up with for change is this: Don't give up. Keep trying to balance and manage time better. Keep learning more about how to do it right and how to be efficient. Do your best and by all means, STOP beating yourself up when you realize (everyday) that you aren't perfect.
Celebrity "Second Weddings"
There seems to be a new Hollywood trend... getting married twice. And no, I don't mean getting married, then divorcing, and then getting married again. What I'm talking about is getting married by a justice of the peace or some other very small, hardly witnessed, secret wedding, then planning a more elaborate, invite all my celebrity friends and spend a million dollars type wedding afterwards.
Salma Hayek, for example, is having an extravagant wedding in Venice this weekend at a very historic home owned by her husband, François-Henri Pinault, and his family. Hayek married the billionaire on Valentine's day at one of the City Hall buildings in Paris. It was a very low-key wedding. But now, she's inviting all of her best Hollywood friends to join her for a SECOND weddding in Venice.
I ask you... what's the point? Why go through the vows and the rehearsal dinner and all that? You're already married! I mean, the only thing I can think of is that the couple wanted to go ahead and tie the knot, but they didn't have enough time to plan things out, so they just went ahead and did it. Then, later, feeling that she missed out on the dress and pictures and the magazine coverage, Hayek decided she could just marry him all over again. Or maybe there is a part of all women (couples?) that feels obligated to have a big shindig wedding for all of our friends and family. Maybe all Hayek and Pinault really wanted was a small, intimate ceremony, but then they were pressured by the media or by their family to have a big wedding. I certainly don't know the answer.
I just know the questions, really. Hayek is not the only celebrity to get married twice, either. I'm much too lazy this morning to go look it up, but I know there have been others. Beyonce it seems like either did that or is planning to. Mariah Carey I believe. I don't know. I just know that it's something I've read about many times in the past year or so. Celebs get married in secret in some small church or city hall, then go and have a huge $Million Dollar wedding two months later. I just don't understand why they didn't just wait the two freaking months and get married then.
Do they believe that their marriage will somehow last longer or be more meaningful simply because it was originally done in private? That's sad, if that's truly what they believe. G and I are going to get married without friends or family present, but that's the only wedding we're going to have. And we're not doing it to make it more 'meaningful'. We're doing it, actually, because we don't want the big wedding. Turning around and having a big wedding in two months would complete defeat the purpose of us having a city hall kind of wedding to begin with. So why are celebs starting a trend to do this? Any thoughts?
Another "Rejection"
Sort of. I entered a writing contest in the contemporary series category, and I did not make the finals. They sent back the two judges score sheets, and out of a possible 210 points, one judge gave me a 176, and the other gave me a 156. I think the reason the second one was so much lower is because they seemed to count off points because my formatting had some spaces in it or something. That really honestly sucks, because I use open office which is free instead of paying hundreds of dollars for Microsoft Word, and apparently something got lost in translation. Booooo.
The most encouraging thing about it is that the things they mostly mention not liking about the plot or the way I arranged the story have already been fixed. Along with the help of my critique group, I already revised the first couple of chapters of that novel, and I think it's much better now than back when I submitted it to the contest. It's encouraging to see that the things the judges didn't necessarily like are the things I changed already. Maybe if I enter a different contest with my new version of the story, I would do much better.
It would be really nice to get a contract or a contest win at some point, but I"m going to do my best not to let this get me down. The more I write, the better I get, so I'll just keep getting better until I get published.
Family Drama
I am home, thank God. This was not my most pleasant trip home ever, I'll tell you. It started off amazing, but went downhill somewhere at the end of the trip. The first two nights, I spent my time mostly at my brother's house, hanging out with my sister-in-law and their new, sweet baby. It was great!! I couldn't have asked for a better woman for my brother to marry, and their baby is the sweetest thing you ever saw. When she smiles, her whole face lights up! It was great to spend some quality time as an aunt.
Night #2, we all had dinner with my parents, which was nice, but I got the first inkling of trouble when my mother complained that I was going back over to my brother's house instead of coming home to talk with her. Yes, I understand that she wants to spend time with me too, but times are changing now. My brother and sister both have children that I want to see, and I am just not going to spend my entire time home sitting around watching tv with my mom while she complains about her job.
On the third day, I headed to my sister's house to spend time with her and her four year old daughter. We had a blast. So far, the trip was going very well. But then, we headed back to Mom's house on Saturday. We were having fun, but there are a few key things that made it turn from enjoyable to awful very quickly.
Really, there was one thing. My Aunt B. I know I've talked about her evilness in the past, surely. She's one of these people who has a good heart on the surface, gives of her time, volunteers in the community, and appears sweet and giving. But somewhere deep down there is an ugly gnarly rotting heart that she shows on occasion if you are unlucky enough to be one of her "chosen ones." When we were growing up, it was more often my sister who was chosen to be picked on, but as we have gotten older, I have joined those ranks as well. Thanksgiving was the last time I saw her, and she was positively mean to me. Then, stories from Christmas brought out further contempt from her about my career as a writer and my life in general. I wasn't even there to defend myself.
It was around the holidays last year, then, that I decided I simply wasn't going to see B for a while. I could certainly avoid her. After all, if I have a friend or person in my life who is treating me poorly, I slowly begin to cut them out of my life, so why should family really be any different? I was quite clear with my family about wanting to cut B out of my life, and I specifically did not go home last weekend, because I knew I would have to see her for Easter. I thought I was safe this weekend at home, but it turns out I wasn't. It sounded to me as if B was invited over and sprung on me like a cat pouncing on a bird. Mom insisted that no, B invited herself over, but I don't really believe that.
Basically, I wanted to leave if she was coming over. I shouldn't be forced to sit around and be sweet to a woman who says horrible things to me. But my family would not let me leave. They got angry, slammed doors, yelled at ME for wanting to leave. I retreated to my bedroom, feeling like a four year old. Eventually, I had to go downstairs, my mother's plea being that she "is embarrassed" by me. "If anyone should be upset with B, it's me." she said. Really Mom? In what fucked up world does it makes sense that only the most battered person has a right to be upset with the person beating them? Everyone who gets lesser beatings has no right to be upset unless the one whose beat the most speaks up? That's just fucked up. I am not going to sit by and take shit just because my mother is too pussy to stand up for herself when her sister says ugly, hurtful things to her.
Sure, B was relatively nice to me this time, but I think she knew I've been upset with her since Thanksgiving. I did, afterall, say to her in November, "This is why I didn't want to come to your house." Surely, she knew I was upset. But the thing is, B never changes. She might be nice to me this time because she knew she was skating on thin ice, but when I see her next time, she'll be ugly again. I have no doubt. And honestly, life's too fucking short to have to put up with people who repeatedly treat you like shit.
The issue that demands exploration here is this: Why was my family, who proclaims to love me, so upset that I didn't want to see someone who is so mean to me? Shouldn't they be standing up for me rather than stoning me for not allowing myself to be flogged? Why are we expected to be socially polite to someone (esp. family) when they are not nice to us in return? It doesn't make any damn sense. I definitely am going to explore this topic further, but not until I've had some coffee.
