Over the many months of our engagement, I have been browsing wedding dresses from time to time and asking G for his opinion on what dresses he likes. Even though we aren't having a traditional church wedding with guests, I still want to wear a real wedding dress. Isn't that part of the fun of getting married in Vegas, after all? Wearing the dress around town?
Lately, we have settled on a near-Christmas wedding, so I thought, "Why not wear a dress with some red in it?" So last night, I started browsing wedding dresses with red accents. At Alfred Angelo.com, I finally found a dress that G loves. It's really the first dress he has taken much interest in, so I'm going to post it here and ask for advice from friends and family. What do you think of this dress? I need to try to find a place here in town that carries Alfred Angelo so I can try it on and see what it looks like on me, but so far, this is the front runner!
So there is both the front and back of the dress. If you're wondering about the color, the top one is "cherry" and the bottom one is "wine". I think I would probably go more along the lines of the darker red at the bottom.
Wedding Dress Contestant
Back on Schedule
Coming home from a mini-vacation always means having to find my way back into some semblance of a routine. Not that I'm ever great at following a proper routine, but getting back into it is such a pain. I had a wonderful time on my trip to see my family and my best friend. I spent time with both of my beautiful nieces and all of my immediate family (including a steak dinner from my parents!), and then got to spend a few days hanging out with T and her beautiful family.
The best part of being home is being with G. I miss him way too much when I am gone, so it is definitely good to be back again. It was especially great to have a weekend with him to enjoy. But now that Monday is here, it's back to the routine of life. I start a new job today (I think) and I still have a manuscript to turn in to NY, so there's no shortage of things to work on. Time to get to work. And hopefully by tomorrow, I'll be back into the swing of things enough to actually write a good blog post.... :P
Jeanine Wins So You Think You Can Dance!!!
Yay! After Wednesday night's performance finale, I rushed to my phone and dialed the number to vote for Jeanine at least 100 times. I think I must have gotten through at least 20 times! I was so happy when she was announced as Season 5's winner of So You Think You Can Dance. She really deserved it!
After the elimination of my personal favorites this season (Janette and Kupono), Jeanine was really the only dancer I got super excited about watching. To see both her and Brandon standing up there as the top 2 made me very happy. Both of them are fantastic dancers, and watching them brought so much joy to me over the past few months of watching the show.
I'm heading home to GA and then down to see my good friend T next week, so probably no blog updates, but just had to post this before I headed to bed! I am so happy for Jeanine! Her solo on Wednesday night BLEW ME AWAY! She can do anything she sets her mind to, and she is such a beautiful girl. I was very happy to see her win.
Just as a side note, thank you producers for having Kayla and Kupono perform my absolutely favorite routine of the season, Mia Michaels' "Addiction Routine". It was even more amazingly performed last night than ever before, and it touched my heart so thank you for that. Makes me wish I could dance...
Race: The Final Frontier - The arrest of Professor Gates
It occurred to me yesterday, while reading as much bullshit on the black Harvard professor's arrest as I could stomach, that race is truly the final frontier. It's the one thing that is still incredibly taboo and annoyingly tiptoed over at all costs. If you aren't aware of the case, an African-American scholar named Henry Louis Gates, Jr., was arrested a few weeks ago in his own ritzy home in Cambridge. Why? Because a "white" woman called 911 to report that she thought someone was breaking into the house. Police went to investigate the call and found Gates in the foyer of the home. When the officer asked him to identify himself, instead of following the rules, Professor Gates played the ever-overused race card. He walked to the door of the house shouting, "You're treating me like this because I'm BLACK!" Instead of following the rules, he immediately assumed the officer only asked him for his name because he was a black man, and there's no way a black man could own such a nice house.
Can you see me rolling my eyes right now? I highly doubt that the police officer is trained to make assumptions like that. Especially when the black man in question is 60 years old, wearing glass and a fucking suit. BUT... he probably IS trained to investigate 911 calls, and if there is a suspected robbery taking place, he is probably trained to question and identify all individuals on the premises. The news media, the president (who called the officer 'stupid' for arresting such a prominent black scholar), everyone has been on this officer's case, but why is everyone so scared to talk back against the professor? Because he's black and everyone's scared to death that they'll seem racists. But who is the first one on the scene that brought up race and started throwing a fit with his assumptions? GATES! That's who! If he had simply told the officer, "My name is Gates, I live here." The officer could have verified that, apologized, done a sweep of the property, and then left peacefully. Gates should have been happy they were trying to protect his home from intruders. If anyone was guilty of racial profiling, it was the old lady who told the "white" woman to call 911. Now, I put "white" in parenthesis because both of her parents are Portuguese.
My frustration here is that everyone has seemed to make such a HUGE deal out of this case, because they are abhorred and appalled at a prominent black man being arrested in his own home. Many wealthy blacks have come forward to say that anytime they open their door, they get asked, "May I speak to the man of the house?" assuming that the black man must be a servant. I don't doubt that it happens, but shit, when I open the door, most kids or people will ask, "Are you the person who makes decisions for your household?' I don't fucking automatically shout that the person is a gender profiler who assumes a woman can't make decisions. Instead, I understand that the person at my door is only interested in one thing: making a sale. They don't give a shit if the black woman next door makes the decisions for all us white folk or if it's the Indian man sitting on the stoop. All they care about is getting an audience with the main cheese and trying to convince them to buy something. I just don't understand why so many people jump to those awful conclusions, calling themselves "Victims". The only victims are the people who get accused and hung out to dry for being "racist" when all they were doing is the job they were fucking trained to do.
When we listen to people like Gates and we jump on his bandwagon and say Yes! If you were white, this never would have happened! (which is bullshit), we are just flaunting our own stupidity. And the fact that our own President called the police 'stupid' for arresting Gates? Don't even get me started on how stupid that fucker can be. The bottom line for me is that Gates was asked a simple question, and instead of answering it and clearing up any confusion, he immediately started throwing a fit, going on about the injustice. Maybe he shouldn't have been arrested, I'll give you that. But he shouldn't have gone crazy over it in the first place. Anyone acting disorderly like that will be arrested. Black or white. Haven't these people ever watched COPS? They'll arrest a white fucker for shouting and running around crazy just as fast as a black dude.
In my opinion, the time for 'minorities' (which is a fucking crazy word now because how truly minority are blacks in America these days? are we talking like 55/45? Seriously) to shout and stamp their feet about slavery and civil rights is gone. It's almost like it's become a crutch and a staple in our society that a minority, namely someone who is black, can attribute anything wrong that happens in their life to the fact that white people don't treat them right. And we put up with it! Why? Because we're scared to death of sounding racist or being accused of being racist. If you're accused or seem like you are racist, you will lose your job and be threatened by society. The lady who called 911 has gotten death threats! For reporting suspicious behavoir in her community! Why does no one see the horrible degrees of WRONG in this whole situation? It's the media that keeps dishing it out, I know. But it's too bad they are completely missing the point and truthfully only serving to fuel the fire for race issue anger.
Race, my friends, is the final frontier. It's the last true taboo. Be careful what you say, even if you are right and even if you are speaking in an intelligent manner. If anyone can interpret it to be racist, you'll be raked over the coals my friend. Beware!
A Material Girl
Okay, I admit it. I am a material girl. And no, that doesn't mean I woke up this morning thinking I turned into Madonna. I just mean that I like material things. I love having a thousand pens in every different color. Without my computer and my candles and my car and my books, I don't know what I would do. Shopping for new things makes me happy, dammit! And I am not going to be ashamed about that.
Sure, the church teaches us that we should be happy in the Lord and that material wealth is not important, etc etc. I know that material wealth is not the source of happiness. I realize that you can have everything in the world you ever dreamed of from a limousine to a private jet to a fucking solid gold toilet seat... and still not be happy. However... anyone who says that having money and material things doesn't make life easier is a big fat stinking OJ Simpson-I-did-not-kill-those-people liar. Money makes almost everything easier. (with the exception of maybe dying... but then again, having a lot of money means you can afford the really good pain killers...)
Right now, G and I are finding ourselves in a tight situation. We can afford the basics and then some extra on top, but we are certainly not to the point where we can go shopping for a bunch of new clothes or afford a fancy wedding. Our house is nice, but it's a townhouse. We share space with other people and we don't have a garage for G to work on his old Hornet. I just wake up everyday thinking about the future and how we are going to get from point A to point B in the fastest time. Then, I go to bed every night thinking of how much I have fallen short for the day. How much harder I should be working in order to reach those goals.
One goal, for example, is a nice house with actual grown-up furniture and nice carpet. Kitts 
Creek is one of those cookie cutter kind of neighborhoods in the area that is currently being touted around here as the premiere place to live. A house like this one costs roughly half a million dollars. I would love to have a house like that, but holy shit. How much money does a couple have to make a year to be able to reasonably afford a house like that? Maybe our next house is somewhere in between what we have now and what is pictured here, and that's fine, but I think it's important to have goals and to look ahead at what needs to be done in order to reach them.
My problem isn't figuring out what I want. My problem is finding the motivation and the every-day juice to work hard enough to get the things that I want. Every day is a struggle. I just have to keep my eye on the prize and remember that I'm lucky enough to have the man of my dreams beside me, struggling right there with me. Money and material things can't buy you happiness, but if you're lucky enough to have already found someone who makes you happy, why not work to have the money too? It can't hurt. :)
No Rain!
Today is the first day for weeks that there is no rain in the forecast! Woohoo! I haven't minded the cooler days, but the overcast skies and rainy afternoons have been a drag lately. Yesterday, we had a huge rain shower. It got so loud, I had to go downstairs to watch it and make sure we weren't going to float away. For a minute there, I thought maybe there was some hail involved, but it turns out it wasn't that bad. Today, the forecast says sunny skies and low nineties! It's probably going to feel pretty hot compared to most recent days, but that's okay. I plan to go for a nice walk this afternoon and enjoy the sun! The rest of the week? On my weather channel desktop, the 10 day forecast says rain and thunderstorms until next Thursday.
PCOS and VItamin D
Recently, my doctor told me that I am deficient in vitamin D. She instructed me to take twice the daily recommended amount and to come back for further blood tests. I started out okay by taking a tablet with 1000 IU (whatever that is) of Vitamin D, which claims to be 250% of the daily rec. dose. But, as per usual with me and pills I'm supposed to take, I slowly forgot to take them and eventually stopped completely.
Today, though, I got a newsletter that I subscribe to through email telling me that new research indicates women with PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome) are typically deficient in Vitamin D, which contributes to insulin resistance. Now, I don't understand everything about the disease, but I do know that it's the insulin resistance that is a huge factor in my weight problems. My doctor has already prescribed Metformin for this problem, but do I take it like I should? No.
I think getting this newsletter today is a sign. Plain and simple. In order to be healthy, I'm going to have to start taking my pills regularly. You wouldn't think that something simple like a deficiency of Vitamin D would cause problems, but apparently it aggravates the symptoms of PCOS, makes you feel tired and drowsy, and can lead to weight issues. Taking a couple of pills a day could help dramatically, so I better start taking it today and stick with it. The problem with the metformin, which I know I've said before in this blog, is that it makes my tummy sick. I do know from earlier experience with it, however, that after a month or two, the sickness starts to go away. I just have to be more careful what I eat, but that is good for me anyway.
The lesson here: Listen to your doctor and take your pills. Also, women with PCOS should be tested for Vitamin D levels, because it may be contributing to your health issues. I will give an update in a month or two and let you know if taking the Vitamin D and Metformin together help me to lose weight and have more energy.
