Oh Lord, last night I thought I was going to have to wake G up and make him take me to the ER. For some strange reason, my back just started hurting after I laid down to sleep. I tried to adjust position, but nothing would help. I got up, ran a hot bath, laid in there for a little while, but that didn't help either. I heated up this pad we have and laid on the couch downstairs with the heating pad on my sore back, and that was the first thing that helped. I didn't get back to bed until sometime after 4am, and even then I found myself just praying for sleep so that I could stop hurting, or at least stop being aware that I was hurting. What a crappy night.
I feel somewhat better today, but it is still sore. Is it possible this is all from stress?
Random Back Pain
How Valuable is Sleep?
Sometimes I wish that I didn't need to sleep. Wouldn't it be great if we could just sleep for say, 24 hours straight, then wake up and stay awake and productive for the next five or six days? If we could just store up the sleep that we get, that would honestly be possible. It's not though, and I didn't need to do some long, drawn-out research study to figure it out. I was trying to remember the longest I ever stayed awake without a single minute of sleep, but I just can't place it. It was probably right around 26 hours or so, but not much longer. I know that I have had prolonged periods of time when I only slept about 4 hours before getting back up and trying to be functional, but believe me, that does not happen anymore!
There are a lot of different theories about how long a person can actually stay up. We've all probably heard some "fact" about how you will simply die if you stay up longer than ten days straight or something like that. I haven't been able to find any actual evidence that is true, but that doesn't really mean much since I do my research on the internet, ha!
One thing is certain: The longer you stay up, the less you can function. I would say that after about 18 hours of staying up and being active, I start to fade away mentally and physically. My eyes get tired and feel dry. My muscles begin to ache. I usually will get a bad headache or tummy ache on top of that. Every hour after 18 is exponentially worse. Sometimes I think my need for long periods of sleep are a result of many years of only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night when I was younger. Is it possible to carry a sleep deprivation with you for years to come?
I certainly don't know the answer. All I have is personal experience. When I was in high school and college, I pushed myself so hard academically and socially. I didn't sleep much at all because I felt that if I slept, I would miss something important. Weird, but true. On average for the last couple years of high school as well as all four of undergraduate, I would say that I slept about 4 hours a night. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but never much more than that. When I would go home for Thanksgiving or something... I would sleep for twelve or more hours straight. I was so exhausted! I was able to function through it during school, but as I got older, I started to really feel the effects of those years of sleep deprivation.
Now that I am in my 30's I would say that I need 8 or 9 hours of sleep a night to feel my best. Unfortunately, G and I don't usually make it to bed until 1am or after, and then we are up at 8 or 8:30. For most people, 7 hours of sleep should be fine. For me, it never seems like enough. I really wish I could go back to the days of 4 hours of sleep a night followed by very awake and happy to be so days. Unfortunately, I think I used up my quota of those days before I was 22 years old.
My question now is whether, after years of feeling tired all the time, I will eventually get enough sleep that I will be able to go back to a reasonable six hours of sleep a night. I'll let you know...
More Sex and The City
Yay! They have officially announced a second Sex and the City movie! Everyone is on board from what they are saying, which means the same great writer, same amazing actresses, same trendy stylists. According to People.com, they will start filming this summer and the movie is slated to come out summer 2010.
I'm very excited, but I have to wonder where they'll take this next movie. Carrie and Big are already married and that has been the central love story of the entire series. Maybe they will have a baby? Hmm. And Samantha is over 50, which isn't old old, but is definitely bordering on the dangerous, I'm-not-really-interested-in-seeing-you-naked-having-sex-anymore phase. At least we know the script will be in Michael Patrick King's able hands.
Makes me want to watch my DVD of the first movie today....
The Best Rejection
It's very strange, but I swear I had a feeling something was going to come in yesterday. I've been waiting to hear back from the latest editor/publisher about my short story and Woman's World magazine about my very short story. Somehow, I just felt that I would hear about one or the other. And I did. At about 9:00 last night, an editor from the publishing house I sent it to emailed me. In terms of rejections, it was the best possible scenario. She gave me a full paragraph on how I could improve my story, and then continued to praise my writing style. She mainly said I just needed to beef up on the character development and the romance elements a bit more to make it right for the genre.
The exciting news is that she said she thinks I have a lot of potential and in the future, she would like to see more submissions from me. Instead of sending future manuscripts through the slushpile of unsolicited projects, she asked me to send it directly to her. It means the world to me to know that an actual editor believes in me and thinks that I can be a good author. Sure, my very first manuscript needs a little bit of work, but how many people write a perfect manuscript on their first try? Even though I am disappointed that they won't be publishing my novella, I am very happy that I got such a positive response back. To me, it means that I am on the right track and so very very close to something great.
To Get A Job? Or NOT To Get A Job?
That is the question...
G and I were up 'til freaking 3 something in the morning talking about money. Basically, the short of it is that the publishing business is freakishly slow, so even if I happen to finish three novels before October, there's a very slim chance an editor will have really looked at it, much less paid me for it. I could try to find an agent, but that's 15% off the top, so by the time my $5000 advance got to me and I pay taxes on it, I'll have more like $2500'ish... which is no week in the Caribbean my friends. And, of course, there's no guarantee I'd get anywhere near $5000 in the first place... that's just the average first advance, but average means some are much lower and some are much higher.
If we are going to be able to raise the $7000 it is going to cost to stay in our dream room in St. Lucia, we are going to have to make at least an extra $1000 a month. Yikes! It makes me insane sometimes to think about it. I have been so spoiled in being able to stay at home for the past year and a half, but the shitty thing is that I had so many emotional and personal issues there for a while that I really didn't get much done. Now, I am being more productive, but now I face the need to make some damn money. I am thinking maybe I should get a job????
Of course, then we consider the fact that jobs these days are not growing on trees. I was up late into the night cruising various job sites, and the sad thing is that even with a master's degree, I'm not really qualified to do much of anything. Every job you see wants at least 2 years experience, which leads me to the age old question of how do you get experience in the first place if no one will hire you? I certainly don't want to work full time for minimum wage or just barely over it. AHHHHHH! It makes me want to scream at myself for not already having three or four novels finished by now!
Another part of me says just stick with the writing full time and work really hard to get several things finished. Then, if I don't have an advance yet by October that will pay for a wedding, we just go down to city hall or something and get married. We can go on vacation whenever the money does finally come through. What's more important? What's the most productive thing? Will I be able to write and finish several novels this year if I'm working 40 hours a week? People do it all the time, right?
Anyway, this is where I am today... just sort of stuck in limbo trying to figure it all out.
Never Enough Time
Why does it seem like there is just never enough time in a day? There is so much I want to accomplish, but sometimes it seems so overwhelming. I have so much cleaning to do around the house that it's pathetic. I set a goal to have a novel completely finished by the end of February to submit to Silhouette Desire. There's friends I wish I kept in better touch with, not to mention family... especially my cousin who is planning her wedding and just found out her Dad has stage 4 cancer. And, as silly and stupid as it sounds coming next to that... I am in a new guild in Everquest 2 and I have goals for my dps and gear that it's hard to find time to work on. Then there's the extra money issue. G and I are trying to earn at least an extra $492 this month. (As to how we came to that exact number, don't ask, lol... there is a method to our madness.) Of course, since G is the one with the full time all day long job, most of that extra money is my responsibility. Without an actual paycheck coming in from somewhere, I have to find the time and the means to make that happen. Yes, goals are nice and they keep you moving and motivated, but sometimes I wonder how I'll ever have the time to get it all done.
SuperBowl Commercials
When I was younger, I used to like to watch the Super Bowl simply because it was a good date opportunity. The commercials were always a plus as well. The game, on the other hand, was basically the least of my concern. I usually didn't even know who was playing each other.
Now that I have settled into a wonderful relationship with my fiance, who, by the way, isn't really that into football either, I have no desire to watch the Super Bowl. Sure, I still want to see the commercials, but these days we have the magic of the internet!
You can go to MSN and watch all of last night's Super Bowl commercials. I personally only watched the ten that they said were the best. Out of those 10, I would say that only 3 of them really made me laugh out loud. Take a look and see what you think:
Bridgestone: Potato Heads
Bud Light: Office Meeting
E-Trade: Babies
For me, the E-Trade Babies is the best. When that cute little black boy starts singing, "Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again...." it seriously cracked me up. Good to know that some companies out there have found a way to bring some laughter to this terrible economy. Bud Light did a good job with that theme as well. How many times have I wanted to throw someone out of a window like that? Too many to count, my friend.
